I'm the first to admit, I have never been very brave. I am not very good at standing up for myself, and I rarely follow through on my ambitions. I have always sort of felt that I just wasn't good enough, or else I was afraid to fail, so I just didn't try.
Wow, my son is just like me. Scary when you realize such things.
So I really need to figure out how to find the courage to do the things I want to do. I need to stop making excuses, stop putting things off, stop--existing. I need to live, to feel, to be something I am proud of. And right now I am SO not proud of any part of who I am.
The only way to get there is to work hard, so here I go. I've been eating better and exercising for a week and a half and have lost 6 pounds so far. I have a LOT more to go, but I am, for once, determined to make it work. I desperately want to actually, FINALLY start ballroom dance classes, but I keep making the excuses as to why I haven't done it. And mostly it's because I'm embarrassed at how bad I look. So I have given myself a goal of losing as much as I can by the end of the year and starting in January. I will keep losing, but I think it will be good to make that my reward for making progress.
Pretty boring blog, but that is where I am today. More to come later.
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